This session is Part 1 of my own musings and communications with myself, with images from my higher self, and then channeled information from my guides and higher self. It is an example of communicating with the higher self is not always direct channeled words, it can be a mixture of questions, light impressions, images, words, and feeling or hearing answers. This was particularly an interesting session because it flowed into direct channeling with deeper information, deeper images and information about my Guides.
Am I ready? The voice isn’t there yet to tell me I am ready. I want to be ready and I want to be able to just zoom out there and do this with my heart and soul. I feel I do it now and force it I will burn out. If I do it when the time is right, or when the time calls to me, there is no way to burn out. There will be that eternal engine revving up the desires and production of it. But I can see the vision and maybe that is the most confusing part. Is because I am a visionary and visually can see things that I feel like those things are to happen tomorrow. I mean why not?! I can see it! So therefore, I am 90% there right!? If I am seeing it, why didn’t it happen yesterday? Why hasn’t it happened already if I can see and feel it!? So maybe that is the lesson here. Pushing it when it isn’t feeling aligned results in burn out. Pushing it and forcing it when it isn’t fully calling me beyond my fears results in burn out. Then determining what are my habitual fears: overwhelmed and too much fear. That is another discernment.
So, the waiting game of when it is time. I mean maybe it will never be time. And I guess I have to accept that. Maybe my desires and visions are to only serve motivating me to do the course work in the first place and the benefit is only for myself and isn’t actually for another in a direct teaching way but having those visions are what is going to get me to commit to something. If I can’t/won’t/don’t commit to something just for myself then I will commit to something for another.
Consistency, this is another thing related to burn out. I totally agree with Sigrid that consistency is key to developing a following. Consistency is also time and effort again and again and again. Showing up for another and showing up for my message. But if I am fighting the energy and effort to do the consistency work, then I will burn out. It has to be fire and passion. It has to drive itself for it to be authentic for me in this space. It needs to drive itself. Second nature. Effort but not effort.
The image they are sending me is of a water wheel powered by the river and the river is The Way and is going with the flow. There is no resistance and no tension there is just the perpetually energy supply of a steady flowing river powering the movement of the wheel and this wheel is the energy of me. The work that I am able to output.
What is it that I can get behind and be energized by consistently? What is my revolving wheel?
Mediumship right now has that energy wheel feel of creating energy as it is running. I have to still work up to some things, but the other voice in my head just say that this isn’t where I shine. And that I won’t shine here. I am ok at this, and I am connecting, and I am getting better, but is this my gig? Is this my service? This is an ability, but it isn’t my talent. I may have made it onto the JV soccer team, but will I make it onto Varsity by my senior year? I don’t know. And I don’t know if I am meant to. All I keep hearing is this is not where I will shine, this is not my forte. I can and will get better through practice and understanding of the self, but I am not focusing enough. There is something missing from it right now. Some sort of connection and depth that I know is possible, but the image I am feeling here is of a pond still frozen over. That’s how it feels. I am walking on the ice, I can see through the ice, but the ice layer is still there. I guess it is time for the ice to be removed, but I think that again is through time and self-work.
Locations. Locations. Locations. I really feel that this is where I am being drawn. Something that I am one to speak for the people of places. I wonder if I should start remote viewing historical places and then look up information about them as practice. Just to experiment.
There is also something speaking about going back to the woods for a more in-depth experience. They are like, “bring your warm tea too!” They are saying, “Go deeper out there. Release all fear out there. That underrunning fear current of awareness, can’t let my guard down, maybe not safe. That is the frozen wall. That needs to be melted. It will melt with love, light and warmth. Much energy is wasted into that kind of awareness. Much energy not only in you but in others in wasted and therefore more subtle communicative energies are ignored or not heard.”