What is it that I actually want? I want to be able to use my gifts and talents to better the world. What are my gifts and talents?
I am Ripon.
You were here before?
Yes. I never left. I let you see a few other things before you saw me again but no I have never left. I am one of the quorum so I will not leave you.
So who are all these other guides that I see of and on like Osho and the golden Egyptian and the horse and the Asian King.
They are also helpers.
Why so many?
Hahah well because being human needs a lot of help and support. There is no way that there is growth or realization on your own entirely.
Why is it designed that way?
Because it is a melting pot of spirit and human helpers. One helps the other and it is a cycle of assistance. That is the design spirit helps human life and human helps spirit life. Yin and Yang in a sense that one changes and elevates into another.
So I am here to help spirit too?
Yes of course.
Im sorry but I still don’t know what I am doing here.
You are here to be you in whatever form that was designed and agreed upon. That is it. There is warrior and humility in just that fact.
You are trying to say there is acceptance in just that?
Well yes of course but when there is no acceptance there is push and pull and fog and confusion. The fog comes from something being in front of you and you just refusing to see it. So, therefore your mind fogs it up. You won’t see it until you want to see it.
Well I do want to see it more than anything. I want to feel whole and I feel like I am making it up. For some reason never say never turns into doing something I said I would never do.
This is because when you focus on something you draw it to you. You have drawn all of those things to you, those you said you would not draw to you and would repel. So therefore you changed the vibration and attracted them because you thought about them. There is in fact a twist in you that needs to be straightened before you can manifest and understand what you truly want. This is a twist that started centuries ago. Of when you did something and you said that you would never betray yourself again by doing what you wanted. And since then you have attracted what you want in an opposite way as a crutch to avoid this pain. Besides this you have learned to even override this twist, that to say you don’t want it that you will get it. It is a twisted pattern that you have been able to use the twist to your advantage to actually get what you do really want, but the origin is still incorrect. It is now like a double twist. A double negative that makes a positive. Which makes it even harder for you to untwist and correct because you are getting benefits and rewards from the double twist. Bottom line is you are are still obtaining what you do want on a soul level, but from the wrong origin energy, and this is causing the fog. This is a learned response to your twist.
How do I untwist myself?
Ask for forgiveness. And believe that you deserve forgiveness.
I have done and said some pretty awful things.
Yes. And have you done some pretty amazing and kind things?
I don’t know. Sometimes it feels forced. Like I am doing what I am supposed to do or what is expected of me with my gifts and talents.
Yes this is the double twist. Your life column is reverted.
How to I put it back?
Honesty and owning up to what you have done. Repenting and accepting your forgiveness for yourself and from the universe. For all the energies that you have had to twist to hide your own.
That’s a lot.
But what do I fill it with?
Nothing. It will be straight as a arrow and the light of god will naturally fill it now that it is straight.
I have betrayed myself many times. I have betrayed my good nature and good strong body. I have said no when I just want to say yes and said yes when I just wanted to say no. I have harmed others emotionally and mentally. Repeatedly, like I have harmed myself. I don’t want to harm myself any longer.
Do your life that feels the most joyful for you. But this does not mean that there will be no struggle. You struggle lies in your joy. Children are endless joys and endless struggles. Are the joys greater than the struggles? If so then wonderful you are on the right path. Are the ease easier than the difficulties? Great you are on the right path. It is when the balance goes the other way. And yes we say that if you are perfectly aligned and perfectly balanced then your life will be endless freedom and endless ease and joy but baby steps are where we start. Baby increments are where we go from here. That is the name of the game the goal and ending. Asking yourself if this effort is joyful or is this effort not? Your paper will not be joyful, you will feel prideful but it will not be joyful. So will you continue with the paper?
I made loyalties. I made commitments.
I am not sure that I am able to overcome those. The joy of me fulfilling my commitments is greater than the fear of me not doing them.
Is it? Listen in. I am Ripon. I am your lover and listener. I am your voice and your muse and your protector from harm. Harm shall not be here. When you cry, I cry, for we all want you to understand your longing. This longing is in your DNA. It is in your generations. Is it in your heart and soul and stomach. It rests as to who you are. It rests as to what created and motivates you. This longing is as much your skill and talent as breathing. Embrace this longing. It will bring you far and beyond. It can only bring you closer to god. Follow the breadcrumbs of this longing. Learn to love this longing. Write this longing love letters deep into the night for being your guidance and direction. Embrace it and thank it. Befriend the longing. It is your greatest gift and ally. It permeates your cells with flowers and perfume and grace. The longing and pure desire of wholeness and understanding illuminates your every move is you are clear and aware of this longing. If you hear it. Listen to it. Feel it. Love it. and then put it to rest for tomorrow. See it, hear it, acknowledge it, move towards it.
Thank you Ripon I welcome you back.
Remember I never left. Ask upon me. Ask for me. See me. My hand is always on your shoulder. Together we forge on as we put you back closer to god to be able to use your gifts and talents to better the world.